So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
