I am puke
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
