im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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