so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
