How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
