i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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