My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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