so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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