the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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