so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
