hotel room ftw
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
