i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
