I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
