I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
