the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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