real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
