my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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