You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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