hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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