Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
