Who wears a wallet chain?!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
