Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
