I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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