i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
