i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
