im having a threesome with these popsicles
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
