I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize