That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize