Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
