I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
