just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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