I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize