It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
false alarm, still single
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
