Do you still have your period?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
