there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
