The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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