I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
