Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Blood and glitter go together right?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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