How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
