he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You ruined the universe
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
