No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
