how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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