Betty ford says i'm here all night
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
