it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
