addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
