I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Drake has all the answers
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
