Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
