who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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