speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
