Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
