i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
