god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
