just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
