just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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