toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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