I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
