I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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