if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
