just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
